Small Things

Over the past few weeks, as I’ve gone about my daily life, I’ve observed a number of things which have amused me. In the spirit of the digital age, I took out my camera and recorded them so that I might create a blog post and, thus, share the joy.

Fruitless

Just look at these worthless excuses for hot-cross buns, they’re just loafing about, utterly fruitless in any endeavour...

You should know I bought these by accident. I think I was momentarily nonplussed by the description on the label. All of a sudden, possibilities for puns rushed into my head and I forgot that I like my traditional Easter bakery fare to contain dried fruit; it’s much more a-peel-ing.

What a Steal

After all that nasty misappropriation-of-funds-by-over-zealous-young-stockbrokers business, the National Australia Bank has decided to overhaul its image. Now, instead of the obscure, yet somehow monolithic ‘National’ they once used in their advertisements, they’ve decided to go with the non-threatening, lowercase acronym ‘nab’.


The OED: nab v 2 c. to snatch or seize (a thing); to steal (customers’ money)

Alright, that last bit in parentheses is mine. At least they’re striving for honesty this time.

Walk This Way

Since we’re on the topic of dictionaries, I would like to enter a new word into the English language: pedestrine. I came across this word on a sign near some footpath reconstruction that I saw during a bus trip on the way to the University. The next day I arranged to catch the same bus, which takes an incredibly circuitous route, in order to take a photo and so offer proof that ‘pedestrine’ is part of the vernacular. Alas, after coming upon the sign, I could not get my camera in position quickly enough to take the photo before the bus jerked around the corner. Arbiters of the English language everywhere will have to rely on my efforts with Paint to faithfully reproduce the exact details of the sighting.


As for the meaning of ‘pedestrine’, it is a noun, which I believe refers to any individual who walks in a particularly Australian way, not dissimilar to those who indulge in that particularly Australian way of talking, ‘strine’. One is a ‘pedestrine’ if one wears thongs on one’s feet and walks in no particular hurry along a cracked suburban footpath to the corner shop. A ‘pedestrine’ is encouraged to scuff his or her feet, in fact it is debateable whether one can be a pedestrine if no scuffing occurs.


Bottom

If anyone decides to write a successful British comedy using the title of this bookshop, I will definitely expect a finder’s fee.